MOMMY MOLLY
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All by Momself

Having a baby makes a huge impact on a parents life after the baby’s arrival, as the parents will no longer have time to focus on anything except for the baby.  This is especially the case for single mothers.  Great single mothers will adapt to this new lifestyle quickly and do whatever they must do to ensure the best lives for their child and themselves.  Having a child changes the mother's relationship with her family and friends, affects her dating habits, and impacts her lifestyle choices.
Single mothers become very reliant upon their family and friends.  In order for a woman to be a great single mother, they must be incredibly strong!  However, they also must have a great support system.  Along with having a great support system comes knowing how to use it and not abuse it.  The mother must learn that it is okay to accept help with raising the child and to occasionally depend upon some support and or relief from family and friends.  An example of this would be when the baby is first born and friends bring precooked meals to help out, or when the baby is a little older and friends and family offer to watch the baby for awhile in order for the parent to get some housework or grocery shopping done without the child.  The great support system will likely even be there when the mom needs to get in some much needed downtime.  Having a strong support system means eliminating the unsupportive people from the mother’s and child's lives.  People that may have been in the mother's past life may not be welcome in her life after her baby is born.  This is usually in both the mother’s and the child's best interest.
After the trauma of past relationships, it may be hard for a single mother to go back out into the dating world.  As a parent, alone time is extremely limited.  This time alone is particularly scarce for single parents, because they are playing the roles of both mother and father.  Single mothers are busy with their children twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.  Not only is finding time for dating difficult for a single mother, but finding the patience and the drive is even more challenging.  When trying to go back out into the dating world, the mom needs to be sure that she finds someone that respects the fact that her child is going to be her first priority.  Single mothers will have higher standards on who they will let into their lives romantically, for multiple reasons.  Likely because the mom may have had poor judgement in past relationships.  Thus said, in order to protect the future of the mom and the child and to not make the mistakes again.  The new boyfriend will also need to understand that this means sex and sexually related acts will likely be off of the table for a while.  This would be in the child's best interest for numerous reasons.  Having a small child wake up to a strange man in their house will likely scare the child.  The mother must also consider the long term effects that any relationship she has will have an effect on the child.  If the relationship is just going to be casual sex, it is best to keep the man away from the child at all costs, due to attachment becoming an issue.  Once the mom finds someone who may be a compatible partner and decides that she is ready to introduce them to her child, taking baby steps would likely be the safest way to go about an introduction.  The child is used to being the main person in the mother’s life, and having a male around may cause some fear, and even jealousy, in the child.  After introducing the man to her child, the mother will be able to get a better feel for what possible role this man may have to play in her life, as well as her child’s life.  This would include involvement in the support system, marriage, and possible future children.
With a new set of standards on who the mom will let into their lives, a new lifestyle is adapted as well. The mom is going to make drastic lifestyle changes that will not only better her life, but better the life of her child as well.  Some mothers may have had bad, dangerous, or costly habits, such as: nail biting, swearing, drinking alcohol, smoking, and even using drugs.  To ensure the best future for her child and herself, most moms will stop these bad habits.  Some moms may even go so far as to start going to church and or become less reliant upon material possessions and more reliant upon nature.  Some examples are getting rid of the internet and social media for a while, gardening and growing her and her family's own produce, nature walking and doing yoga.  Not only are these examples great for the mother, but they are great for the child and great bonding experiences as well.  Changing who the mother is spiritually is important for the child so he or she has some sort of guidance and knowledge of a greater being.  Along with changing spiritually, the mom will likely feel lifted and refreshed.  She may seek guidance, and one way to do so is by continuing her education.  Not only would this brighten the future of both the mother and the child, but also let the child know that "if there is a will, there is a way."  The child seeing this done is important because furthering education, while also being a single parent, is one of the most difficult things that a person can do.  Not only will this be encouraging for the mom, but also be encouraging for the child.  Providing encouragement for them both to push themselves to pursue their goals and chase their dreams no matter what obstacles stand in their way.
Single mothers have the satisfaction of knowing that they raised a child on their own.  Being a single mother is fun, difficult, exhausting, and occasionally even belittling.   Having a child changes the mother’s relationships with everyone in her life, impacts her dating life, and effects her lifestyle choices completely.  This may be because she is no longer living for herself, but living for her child as well.  No matter how awful the downside may seem, being a single mother is incredibly rewarding!
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